The Natality of the Spirit

click here for german version

I admit, I wasn’t always an easy child, but just like so many children were stubborn, I used to be stubborn as well, I didn’t want to listen and was convinced that my opinion and decisions were the only right ones. My parents became desperate, like so many parents did, and gave up convincing me to go hiking or eat less (I loved eating), to study French or teach me math. However, they continued to consequently live their convincement and showed me that things were possible even though they weren’t for me right now.

My father took me to the craziest events and workshops where I used to be the youngest by far. The people there thought this was great, yet I couldn’t see why this should be so great… after all I did not do anything besides being there and it was more due to my dad than to me. Even though I have become less stubborn and started listening more to my parents, I still often did not understand why and what my parents adventured with me. It was especially my dad who managed to visit the strangest shows and do the most nerve-racking adventures with me. We visited exhibitions (I might not have understood the art objects but at least it looked nice), participated at acting-workshops where we had to play the last minute of our life and naked men took mud baths in the middle of the woods. I was rock climbing for the first time of my life… with a level of difficulty C and a partly overhanging rock wall. We went to art performances where Buddhist monks made weird noises, while in others they made neither a sound nor a movement. With fifteen I did zazen and paddled on the Danube in Serbia for a week where I became faecal contamination. My father practiced fractions with me, whereas I never understood what he wanted from me until I eventually simply memorized the answers.

It was definitely not always easy, often I shed a lot of tears and I was convinced that I was the poorest girl with the strictest father in the whole world. But sometimes we have to be forced to do what’s good for us and I am very thankful that my dad did force me. It was by no means an easy path, neither for me nor for my dad, but we both continued walking on this path. What I haven’t seen while all these adventures, was, that my mind and spirit grew, it was the “Natality” of the spirit. What first didn’t exist in my perceived world, I suddenly had experienced. Where I first thought to be confronted with my limits, I had gone beyond my own boarders. I have learned to think abstractly and be open for things that I cannot see yet at this moment.

Now I study philosophy full of joy and I am certainly grateful to my dad for pushing me through this stony path rather than just sitting on a stone thinking.


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